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  • Positive Children?...

    I am sitting here at home reading a bunch of the postings, I can't get over how many parent's are posting that their kids hate having TS, Are embaressed and don't want anyone to know. I find this very sad. There is nothing "Syndrome, Disorder, etc." about the children. These children usually have ADHD of some degree as well which means that they opperate on a whole othere level. I should know I have ADHD, I also have Bi-polar II. They can multi task, and are usually quite creative. Their TS may set them apart but it is not something to be ashamed of, everyone is different, that is what makes us unique individuals. I have three boy's they ALL have TS+. They are all proud of who they are and their Exeptionalities. Even in the throws of these fits,tantrums, we don't quite know,that my oldest is going through he still would not change who he is. My 8yr. old is comfertabl explaining to his whole class that he has TS and all he does is blink and roll his eyes at the moment.(grd.3 seems to be the whitching yr. for my kids). My oldest is deppressed and may have Bi-Polar and he still does not wish away what he is already diagnosed with. I would love to see some postings of positive kids, who like who thet are and embrace their Exeptionalities.

  • #2
    Re: Positive Children?...

    Hi Ticsx3,

    These children usually have ADHD of some degree as well which means that they operate on a whole other level.
    ADHD and TS means that children have some decreased ability to understand social cues. Not understanding social cues or making movements that other people don't make, means they usually don't have alot of friends. Not having a lot of friends, usually lowers self-esteem.

    My own son with TS+ does not like the fact that life is much harder for him than others. He struggles to pay attention in class, he struggles to make friends, and he struggles not to make the movements and it is not so much that he is ashamed of his TS but that he is angry that life is harder for him.

    They are all proud of who they are and their Exeptionalities
    Good for them!! But some people need more time and maturity to accept who they are.

    Steph

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    • #3
      Re: Positive Children?...


      Ticsx3

      My own son has come a long way in accepting his TS+. It still gets in the way at times but at age 13 he has learned who he is and pushes his limitations to live a more well rounded life. In the beginning he was just angry for having TS+ and how others treated him. I just think there are stages our kids have to through sometimes.

      It is true that he can stand out and no teen or pre-teen likes that since being different can cause reactions from others. Kids can just be cruel sometimes and with maturity and time they all get past it.

      Oddly enough in our case girls don't seem to care what he has but other guys do. It is hard for him to make new friends but he continues to reach out and test the waters.

      PJK

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      • #4
        Re: Positive Children?...

        I just think there are stages our kids have to through sometimes.
        I think that is exactly right PJK.

        Just like parents go through stages of acceptance in learning our child has a medical problem. Children also, have to go through stages of learning who they are and what they are capable of.

        Steph

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        • #5
          Re: Positive Children?...

          Ticsx3,

          I am bipolar/gad. my onset was around age 11. I struggled badly as a teenager with several suicide attempts and no self esteem etc etc.. It wasnt until i was in my twenties and a mother of a bipolar child did i learn to appreciate what bipolar has given me.. if it werent for bipolar, i wouldnt be the creative, humourous writer/musician that i am today. Its given me my edge.. my insight, my strength and all of my life experience because of my bipolar has made me who i am today. In fact i am in the middle of writing a book called the ramblings of a bipolar mind.. journals, poems, snippets of my life as a bipolar and as a teen( i kept ALOT of journals) and a parent of 2 bipolar children, my thoughts etc.

          My son who is 11 1/2 would tell you differently.. he hates his life.. tells me constantly he wishes he wasnt bipolar and as SOON as he is 18 he isnt taking his meds :-\
          he absolutley HATES me discussing the fact he has bipolar with ANYONE and still holds it against me that i did an article in the paper and a documentry on early onset bipolar 4 years ago for tv ontario. He gets called " bipolar boy" at school and in the neighbourhood and says he just wants to be normal.. also has said to me he IS normal and I just SAY he is bipolar.. he says he just is MOODY thats all but isnt bipolar.. :

          Devon is too young to understand what bipolar/tourettes is.. but he sure no when his brother gets frustrated with him and calls him stupid or retarded or makes fun of him... he usually screams youre not my brother anymore russell! ANd then i get frustrated with russell and give the " how would you like someone to make fun of you russell and all of your problems etc? i thought you of all people would have more understanding and compassion for your brother etc.. )it never works :

          The thing is.. there is a terrible stigma attached to mental illness and being different in any capacity.. people are cruel and kids are worse. Sometimes its easier to not say anything.. then there are times when people just stare at devon like he has three heads - school bbq this year; devon is a close talker.. has to talk to you an INCH from your face... has NO idea what personal boundries are no matter HOW many times we tell him.. AND talks to everyone and anyone.. will go up to jeffery dalhmer if you let him... AND he has speech and language delays.. AND he ticks... SO... MOST people look at him at just stare in disbelief like omg who IS this kid who is IN my face babbling in what seems like a foriegn language making all these wierd faces at me?? They NEVER know how to react... i usually take my cues from the people.. older people like seniors tend to be soo good.. they smile and nod at what hes saying and joke with him... but i have had the june cleaver type of mothers also put up their HANDS in a stop for ME like hmm there must be something wrong with this kid and they must figure it out and it must be MY FAULT as a mother of course.. perhaps the mother did drugs while pregnant types.... i take my cues from how they react ..anyway.. this woman at the bbq and her kids crouched beside us to eat their hotdogs... devon got RIGHT in her face.. started going on and on about mario (video games..) facial ticking etc.. the woman actually jumped back from him and devon kind of jumped back to startled... and i said come HERE devon.. dont talk to strangers devon... dont talk so close devon... and the woman says to me.. well it would be ok if he made some kind of SENSE! > devon understood.

          grrrrr those kind of people MAKE ME want to become a hermit.. make me on one hand SHOUT HEY HE HAS BIPOLAR/TOURETTES gotta PROBLEM with that??? > and on the other hand.. become a hermit and never expose devon to anyone jerks again!

          anyway i am rambling... i think its hard as a parent in the rollercoaster of diagnosis/moods and all the junk that goes with raising special needs kids sometimes is just plain hard to find positives.. what i do is find the HUMOUR... thats what keeps it real. what keeps it light, and fun and bearable. Once you lose your humour.. even if its as twisted and dark as mine hehe.. youre a lost soul. These kids were given to us for a reason.. and i wouldnt trade mine for the world.

          I dont think Acceptance of these disorders comes until maturity. Children have no control of emotion.. they cant cognitively recognise whats happening in their bodies when they are so small.. it comes in stages little by little with life experinece, stability and maturity. a " normal" child has a hard enough time knowing their limitations, wants, needs, when and how their body signals work... let alone one with a multitude of neuro difficulties. That all comes in time and with meds or cognitive therapy etc.

          ok.. i could ramble of morning,.. :P

          PAX
          Su

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          • #6
            Re: Positive Children?...

            the woman says to me.. well it would be ok if he made some kind of SENSE! devon understood.
            Hi Suzanne,

            You have more patience than I do because if she said that in front of me, then I would have given her an earful that she wouldn't soon forget.

            Hopefully his school life will improve and we are always here to offer support and what guidance we can. There is a terrible stigma attached to mental illness but I know of one doctor here with Bipolar and he is a very good doctor.

            Steph

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            • #7
              Re: Positive Children?...

              Su

              You are so right about understanding and accepting. I think the stage of growing up gets muddled when you throw disorders into the picture.

              I usually bite my tongue in front of my son when someone says something they should not but he is use to waiting for me because I go back and clear the air without him standing there. Unlike those that can't understand I don't belittle the offenders like they did my son.

              I saw this today at school when my son was in trouble but in that case nothing I would have said would have sunk in so I just ignored it.

              May I suggest finding some role models for your son that have Bi-polar? There are those in the public eye that take medication and manage well, some have even come out so that others can see life is good.

              Thank you for sharing and keep us posted.
              PJK

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Positive Children?...

                I didn't realize that such a simple question would open such a can of wormes for people. I get the feeling that mabye some people think that I was comng off a "better parent" for having created acepting children. This was not my intention at all, not in the least. If anyone has seen any of my other postings they will know that I have many challanges to overcome day to day.
                My oldest is 12 1/2 yrs. old and is on the wait list for the in-patient program at the local Childrens Hospital, he suffers from deppression, he has tried to choke himself out a couple of times with veriouse things. He has these horrendose fits that nobody knows what they are, and we have recently lost our Psychiatrist AGAIN. But even at his lowest moments he would not take AWAY his "DISORDER". My middle one in just turning 11 and he has some OCD tendancies, as well as just falling under the bar for Asbergers as well as TS & ADD he is the most interesting child I think I have ever met in my life. It is all about the facts with him. He is always happy, he has hardly any friends yet he just bumbles through life with a smile on his face. The youngest is 8 he has a truck load of behavior problems and is always in trouble at home yet he is the most confident and secure out of all of them. We have problems in our home by the minute. The 3 boys + 2 girls as a blended family on 1 income and I am somewhat handicaped myself. So I by no meens ment to come off sounding better than anyone else, I just was saddened by all the postings that I was reading thats all. I go through my own process still over how I feel about the boys sittuation, guilt, saddness, anger, all thoughs still cross my mind but there is not much I can do about it. It is what it is and I Must play the hand I have been Dealt. I am sorry if I did offend anyone, I most deffinetly DID NOT mean to. I just wanted to know if anyone had any happy kids out there, and by the looks of the answers I got not really. My oldest was diagnosed at the age of 7 when his head was about to rock right off his shoulders, his brother shorlty after that, the youngest it was pretty much a given with a 90% chance of having it because his brothers do, so we have been at this for a long time. The oldest and youngest can educate thier classes with little help from me, the middle one has yet to do this at all, but I am sure he could. He would just do the reaserch first.
                Again I am sorry to have offended anyone and am hopefull that everyones lives smooth out for them.
                Stay Strong: Mariah

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Positive Children?...

                  Hi Mariah,

                  I confess that I read your post wrong.

                  You do have many challenges and please check with your local hospital especially the pediatrics ward and they will direct you to some community services.

                  I think my son is happy sometimes but life has thrown many challenges his way and he finds it tough sometimes.

                  Let us know how your family is doing.

                  Steph

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Positive Children?...

                    I'll throw in my 2 cents about my son.
                    He is a trooper, he has taken this whole Tourette diagnosis in stride. He gets frustrated with it, frustrated with me (when he's ticcing and I don't notice and give him heck for ignoring me), but in general my guy is a happy guy. I was afraid that the diagnosis would take the innocence out of my little man because he's so young and has so much to deal with but he just goes with the flow. Funny, with all his OCD routines and tics he's still so patient with other parts of life.
                    I have been going back and forth from this posting and each time I think about my guy and want to tell the world how wonderful he is. My goodness, we have some issues around here but at the end of the day (once he's asleep-finally-) I am very proud to be this kid's mom.
                    That's it from me, tooting my own [kid's] horn.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Positive Children?...

                      My kids have many issues, I left in the middle of writing the posting this morning because my 11yr. old came back from walking to school because his older brother beat him up because he was swinging his backpack and flicking water with his shoes. Stevie asked him to stop & he didn't so he started to push, punch and kick him. He turned around and came home.
                      My 8yr. old has to be woken up early to take his med's then left in bed for a bit, otherwize he is uncontrolable in the mornings. The down side, he does'nt eat much before he goes to school. My kids know that their lives have more challenges than others, especially the oldest. I think that the older you get the more aware you are. He knows that he has a harder time concentrating than others, or that the ticing is tireing, or that sometimes ppl. are going to look at him. But he can go up to a stranger and say Would you please stop staring at me I have TS.
                      I didn't mean to sound like a myrtyr parent, I just tryed to ask a simple question to see if anybody had some relatively well adjusted kids. Not perfect, just kinda OK with who they were. I was so saddened by all the postings of parents talking about how negative their kids felt, thats all.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Positive Children?...

                        Hi Ticsx3

                        I have been offline for a while and just returned from the national TSFC conference. I have to agree with you that there are so many positive attributes about adults and kids living with TS. I know I appreciate who I am and who my boys are. My oldest had a major head tic for over 3 years and it settled in June... it recently started again when school started and he shared that "he missed it" that made me stop and really assess things. He readily tells me he would never take his TS away, the fact that he missed his chronic head tic amazed me but confirmed for me that he does fell good about himself and have totally internalized his disorder.

                        Don't apologize for wanting to hear some positive stories.. the positive stories are what keeps the newly diagnosed kids and parents feeling hopeful about their child's prognosis till they can wrap their minds and hearts around the symptoms and reality of the diagnosis.
                        Janet

                        TSFC Homepage

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Positive Children?...

                          Originally posted by ticsx3
                          I was so saddened by all the postings of parents talking about how negative their kids felt
                          Hi ticsx3

                          I can see your point about all of the negative and sad things posted on the message board. I certainly don't feel that way nor does my son all of the time. This is one of the few places we can go to air all of our frustrations so it stands to reason there would be a lot of issues that are sad and/or negative posted here.

                          In my son's case he is very proud of who he is and thinks of his TS as a friend thanks to the website lifesatwitch.com. Dr. Duncan McKinlay has many positive articles on his site as well as a youth haven section that is great for kids. My son has a poem he wrote and his picture on the site. http://www.lifesatwitch.com/telling_christian.html (I couldn't resist sharing the link ;D)

                          Even when our kids are proud and accepting of who they are I think society can many times bring them down.

                          When my son was in grade three they were asked to write a list of the good things god had given them in religion class. He wrote down Tourette Syndrome. His teacher's aide actually became upset with him and thought he was acting out by writing that. She told him there was nothing good about TS. My son was quite upset when he came home about this.

                          I called the school immediately as I too was quite upset about this. I explained that we made it a point to make our son aware of all of the positives that come with TS and I was very concerned that a staff member would tell my son there was nothing good about TS. TS was a part of him that would always be there and it was crucial for his self-esteem to be able to see the positives of which there were many.

                          I sent him to school the next day armed with a list from Duncan's site http://www.lifesatwitch.com/datafiles/30_positives.pdf) detailing all of the positives that come with disinhibition disorders. The next day the principal sat down with my son and they read over the list together. His aide also apologized.

                          My son is now in grade 7 and really struggling. Right now he is being home schooled for at least a few weeks and possibly the whole year. There will always be bumos in the road but he is still very proud of who he is as am I.

                          Patti

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                          • #14
                            Re: Positive Children?...

                            My oldest now too also has a paper he wrote in Gr.6 on lifesatwitch.com I sent it to them and they posted it right away, it was realy awsome.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Positive Children?...

                              I just checked it out! It was great!

                              Thanks for sharing!

                              Patti

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