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Questions about my situation.

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  • Questions about my situation.

    I want to start by saying I'm a 26 year old male. When I was young [around 10 ish?] I was diagnosed with ADHD, and they put my on ritalin and clonadine for ahwile. And I rememmber getting a really bad temper, which I think may be a side effect of what I am going to talk about. All my life I have had things I did, which after doing a little research the last two days, I am pretty sure its OCD and Tourettes, but I haven't been diagnosed with either, nor do I have the ability to do so [cost too much].

    What I have been doing that I believe is OCD is for example, having touch my hands on equal sides of my body, counting on my thumbs [by touching them in 4 or 8 or 16 spots], having to touch objects a certain number of times, having to wipe things, like if i am talking and i think i spit when i talk, even though I know for a fact I didn't, I still have to wipe the spot where that imaginary spit might have landed. If I see like 3 leaves on the ground and I accidentally touched one, I would have to go touch the other two, and if I touched one with more itensity than the other, I would have to repeat it until they were of equal intensities. I used to have to hit things, for example on my computer desk I ight have a pen, and I would have to poke the glass on my monitor 3 times. When I drink, its got to be 3, 5 or 7 times. And there is more, and a lot of it seems to come and go, but the touching my hands or objects a certain number of times, or in certain patterns has always been there.

    What I have been doing that I believe is toruettes is when I was little, I used to have the urge to say ****. Just all the time, **** **** **** lol. And of course, I didn't want to say it, but it felt like the word was in my mouth trying to escape, and the only way it could escape was if I put my mouth in the right shape and said it. I used to put my middle finger up a lot, like when walking, I would just have to make a fist except for my middle finger, I had the head bobbing, where I have to bow my head forward or to the side, right now I have a kind of side head twitch, and I exhale all of the air out of my lungs [which makes a little "hmpt" sound]. When I am in cars, I have a strong urge to open the door when riding with people, so much that I put my hands under the bottom seat belt. I have the urge to punch people a lot, I don't actually do it, and never have. But its always there. Sometimes when I have a sharp object I have the urge to poke myself. Its like you just have to do it, and I don't mean harm, ive never harmed myself on purpose, or caused any damage, its just I have to feel the tip or end of the blade.

    Sometimes it also seems that my "ocd" things and my "tourettes" things interact, for example, if I get a tick, I feel I have to do it 3, 5 or 7 times.

    Usually I can suppress them, and keep it down to just a little "hmpt" sound with a twitch. Most people don't notice it I think, though some people have commented. It doesn't upset me really [i'm a big intimidating guy, so people are not usually rude lol]. I always just told people its a nervous tick.

    The reason why I am posting is, I really do think I have OCD and Tourettes, and I know self diagnosis is frowned upon. At the same time, I kind of already believe I have it, and I know there is no cure, so I don't see much point in going to a doctor to "officialize" it.

    I didn't really know about these until yesterday, I seen some videos and was like "oh my God, they just describe my life and how I feel". And then I started going over everything in my life which was tic or ocd related, asking my mother about it [she of course says "i have just a small tic, its nothing major"], but I usually hide it from her or others.

    I believe when I was young, and experiencing this, and no one knew how to explain it or I had no answers, that this made me perpetually angry all the time [when I say young, I mean like ages 10-16]. Since about age 18 to now I very rarely get upset, and if I do its usualy little stuff [though, I have had major stuff in my life which should case me to be upset, but I brush it off, i'm a really chill person] like when my computer fails to And I believe this is where the anger came from. And I am pretty sure [though, my other denies it] that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. But the effects of that are not apparent to me anymore, I don't get mood swings anymore, I am actually usually in a state of happiness or contentment.

    Anyways, sorry about that rant. I am just curious what are you guys opinions on this, about getting diagnosed [should I really worry about it?] I'm not too concerned about treatment or trying to remove the tics, they are just part of me. I am fine with that. So I guess its mostly just curiosity for me. And now that I know this is a real thing, it makes me interested in how this and other things in my life might be connected.

  • #2
    Re: Questions about my situation.

    I do not have tourettes but I have OCD. My son has tourettes. When I was younger I did the cursing thing too. I didn't want to really but it just came out. I shot the middle finger to a cop at the bus stop. That was scary but I just got a talking too. I used to have to touch things in 3's to "turn off the cameras" and I used to count everything until I got a head ache. I'm pretty sure I had add/adhd. School was hard to concentrate I had to re read things several times and force a concentration because I would read the page and go to flip the page and not really know what I had read but I had been thinking of something else while reading it. I opened up the car door while moving once and literally almost died. It was going around a curve and the force threw me out. I never did that one again. I jumped off a fire escape on the 3rd floor and heard my ankles pop and couldn't walk for a couple of minutes. I was going to do it again but the kids around me talked me out of it. So you know it must have been insane because normally kids don't care and pressure other kids to do harmful stupid things. So basically I think you may have a very mild case of tourettes and it's mostly ocd with you. I'm glad you are a pretty happy person. This is great.

    If you ever have kids though they may have the full blown tourettes. It's a 50% chance. I am at the end of day 1 of a 2 day fasting begging G_d's mercy for my sons recent tic that is a non stop lip licking that has torn his lips up. It's summer. He is actually in bad shape right now and I ask that anyone pray for his lip licking tic to stop. He is in pain and wants it to stop. We have read nix you tics and the techniques aren't working for him. The neuro can't see us and is booked until Oct. and te Oct. schedule hasn't even been released yet. It's pretty scary being the mother to a severe case of tourettes. Especially when it waxes and wanes? He was pretty tic free or mild for 3 mos and now it's so full blown he is ticcing 45 to 55 times in a minute.


    • #3
      Re: Questions about my situation.

      Well, I used to lick the sides of my mouth [way back, like before age 10 i think] so much that I would always have scabs or crustyness [eww] or the like on my lips and cheeks, if I moved my mouth it would hurt, my skin felt like it was tearing. I eventually stopped that though. I stick my tongue out a lot when ever I concentrate. Also, I used to have two other tics that, thankfully, went away, one is I would hit my nose with my palm, which always scared me because in movies and such they say you can instantly kill someone by doing this [hitting the bridge where your upper gums connect to your nose], which even now I don't like to touch it incase that tic comes back. And the other one was sharpling bending my neck, I was scared I would break my neck, and it would get really sore. But currently, its just a head twitch and the hmpt sound, air being rushed out of my lungs. It makes me incredibly tired. Torso feels weak.


      • #4
        Re: Questions about my situation.

        Welcome to the Forum, Sixofour!

        Thank you for sharing your situation, with which you seem to be coping well.

        You are quite right that self diagnosis can be misleading, and here on the Forum, we cannot nor will not suggest any diagnosis either, because Tourette as well as any possible co-existing disorders have to be diagnosed by a competent health care professional who can see you in person and conduct a face to face interview.

        That being said, you may want to investigate the local Tourette support Chapter of the Tourette Syndrome Association, where you may be able to find out about a local resource where you could be seen at an affordable cost.

        Although you are coping well, the reasons for considering obtaining a competent diagnosis are not only for your own intellectual satisfaction, but for the benefit of your family, present and future. Because Tourette is a genetic disorder, parents should advise their children of the presence of the disorder in the family gene history, so that later generations are aware, and can deal with potential emergence of symptoms or learning disorders in the future.

        In addition, because there are frequent co-existing or so called co-morbid disorders that accompany Tourette as you have become aware, and if you happen to exhibit symptoms of some of these disorders, the co-morbid disorders are usually easily treated which would certainly improve your overall quality of life.

        So, continue doing your research, and ask lots of questions, but consider making arrangements to be evaluated by a competent medical practitioner, familiar with movement disorders, specifically Tourette Syndrome.

        BTW....ticks are little insects, and tics are the expressions of Tourette Syndrome!
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