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My Life-Long Journey With Tourette's

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  • My Life-Long Journey With Tourette's

    Calling my childhood unconventional would be an understatement. In fact, I was an oddball
    the moment I was conceived. Described as a 'quiet' and 'emotionless' infant, force-fed due
    to an absent hunger response, my care-free disposition was an ominous sign of atypical development. Benign febrile convulsions plagued my early childhood. Everything calmed down between the ages of seven and eleven, until seemingly perpetual chaos returned with a vengeance.

    Imagine being controlled by a microchip implanted in the brain. Late-onset Tourette's Syndrome challenged my conceptions about free will. Within an instant, I'd become immobilized by OCD, or turn socially disruptive, uttering obscenities.

    Making matters worse, this wasn't typical Tourette's. Tics emerged as unconscious 'substitutes' for feelings. Hence, I lost my capacity for sorrow, regret, and worry. This abrupt transition was foreshadowed by the deficient sensations since infancy: absent hunger, inadequate comprehension of social cues, and extremely literal processing.

    Intrigued by the evidence, I hypothesized the existence of an unidentified psychiatric spectrum. Noting that deficient feelings were prominent on my father's side (a socially impaired, rising star in the military), I coined the term 'Germain Syndrome'.

    One night, I was kicked out of my parents house, and promptly removed by the RCMP. That's when I began noticing a dramatic shift in my personality. In jail, I pondered the circumstances, and reflected on my lack of emotions. Deep confusion follwed the arrest: logically, I couldn't understand what I did wrong. After all, humans were just atoms combined to form molecules, which form deoxyribonucleic acid.

    The following three weeks were spent in a local homeless shelter. I continued to wonder what I did wrong. Was there a science concerning social interactions that I wasn't aware of? Curious, I devised the term 'social science'- a discipline comprised of the sensations I was incapable of feeling. Harrassing my parents, despite them being formed from atoms, violated the principles of social science.

    This was the solution I needed: now, I could logically simulate empathy.

    Isolating in the 'quiet room' of the homeless shelter, I was accompanied by an awkward-looking fellow. Looking up from the 450 page literary work I was typing, I couldn't help but notice the remarkable similarities. Entering research mode, I asked him the numerous criteria I had hypothesized for Germain Syndrome. Despite not having Tourette's Syndrome, he was clearly impaired by his overly literal personality, and deficient emotions, even asking me if he was a sociopath. Trying to console him, I explained how absent empathy doesn't make a person bad- but his actions. Any feeling can be logically simulated.

    When I left the quiet room, and returned three minutes later, my iPad was gone.

    "I was worried that someone would steal it, so I gave it to the staff". Ironically, this was the same guy who wondered if he was a sociopath. Despite lacking emotions, he was the most generous and understanding man in the shelter.

    Unfortunately, the peaceful walks to the river, and discussions with the only person who understood me, was terminated after a relapse of the Tourette's. Apparently, the homeless shelter doesn't tolerate involuntary obscene language. I thought Christians believe God loves everyone equally, no matter what the disability is, but I was obviously wrong.

    Desperate, my father searched for a cheap place to stay. Since all the local hotels were occupied, and the shelter didn't accept my coprolalia, I was finally accepted back in the house. Having a complete grasp of my illness, I could now logically simulate the emotions I was unable to feel.

    To keep my mind busy, I developed an obsession with security cameras and drones. Equipped with my F-1 Lenser Flashlight, a precision rover, and my Beebop Drone, I could explore while simultaneously watching updates on the federal election.

    Meanwhile, I remain on a mission: spreading awareness about Germain Syndrome. Ideally, nobody should have to endure the numerous years of confusion, and isolation, typical for patients with this condition. In extreme cases, the obsessions and tics common to the spectrum develop into full-blown Tourette's Syndrome.

    Peculiar coincidences, such as mild physical defects, obsessive collecting or documentation, and talent in various fields (success in military occupations, athleticism due to abnormally rapid metabolism, and narrow scientific interests) have convinced me, beyond a doubt, that Germain Syndrome is a legitimate psychiatric spectrum.

    Why has this spectrum been neglected? Patients with Germain are overly literal, so they reach the obvious conclusions: "I am weird." or "I am antisocial." When regret and worry are still intact in the sufferer, this contributes to immeasurable internal conflict.

    Certainly, this conflict is unnecessary. Germains are not weird- they are byproducts of 'neurodiversity'. The same is true for every psychiatric spectrum, including Tourette's.

    Last edited by SwearingTourettesMan; October 16, 2015, 06:59 PM. Reason: Typos
    Every feeling can be logically simulated.