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  • Can Anyone Help Me....

    Please help me….What's with my weird compulsion?

    I have developed a strange, fairly innocuous quirk which seems beyond my control and I'm curious about it...

    When I think of / remember something embarrassing from my life, I compulsively “blurt out” the word “Mamma” very quickly in a high pitched voice. It is like a "vocal seizure"of sorts if such a thing existed. It seems to happen unconsciously, before my censor can catch it and stop myself. Sometimes it is so sudden that it gives me a little fright.


    The vocalizing has gotten worse in the last few years... It used to only happen in the shower, or doing dishes, or something equally mindless and alone where your mind can wander to bad places. But lately, I've found myself more likely to do it where another person can hear me and I fear the day it happens at work or with a friend.

    When some memory assaults me unexpectedly with embarrassing conversations, situations, cringe-worthy poor choices and mistakes I have made in the past, or a sudden negative self-reflection – it causes me to blurt out this word. It is always just this one word. And I just say it once. However if I consciously dredge up a particular memory, it never results in a reaction, it's when I'm going on with my life and suddenly my brain goes "Hey! Remember THIS?" that gets me.

    This has been going on for about 6 years now and as a 48yr old woman you can see why the sudden calling out of “Mamma” is both awkward and embarrassing.This phenomenon often happens to me often up to a dozen or more times a day, and canbe just as embarrassing as whatever random crap I am remembering especially if I am near other people or do it too loudly. I have mentioned it to counsellors and psychiatrists and nobody ever seems to think its a big deal or given me name for it. I've been on SSRIs for anxiety and they did nothing to abate this particular problem (or my anxiety/ocd in general either).

    It really only happens when I'm remembering something palpably embarrassing or humiliating from my life -- not for mild everyday kind of stuff. I had a fairly ok childhood and have nothing particularly traumatic in my past -- I don't think my “embarrassing” memories are any worse than the average joe's.

    It has bothered me for a long time that I can't let go of all the embarrassing moments that my brain has stored, and just embrace confidence and move forward. So dear friends…what is this, do I have some kind of low-grade Tourette’s syndrome? Is there a name for this phenomenon? Does it happen to others or is it unique to me?

    I would be very much indebted to anyone here who could shed some light…

  • #2
    Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

    Is this the same question as was posted HERE in 2008?

    Since then what progress has been made?
    Steve
    TouretteLinks Forum

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    • #3
      Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

      Yes Steve - no progress...just progressively getting worse...does it have a "diagnosis" that you know of Steve?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

        No one on an online venue can provide a diagnosis. In order to be competently and correctly diagnosed you need to be seen by a medical professional in a face to face interview, so your symptoms can be observed and a family history can be taken.

        Have you ever been seen by a medical professional for your symptoms and have you ever received any form of treatment?
        Steve
        TouretteLinks Forum

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        • #5
          Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

          Yeah Steve I've been down that road - seen Psychologists & Physiatrists at Anxiety Disorders clinic and as mentioned been on meds for anxiety. They didn't know what it was when I mentioned it. Just thought you folks here might have come across what this might be called or if it is a kind of Tourette's...

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          • #6
            Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

            It's true some medical professionals don't have the training or clinical experience to assess tic disorders, so you need to consult a specialist with expertise in the these disorders.

            New Zealand now has an active and enthusiastic support and advocacy organization for Tourette Syndrome, the Tourette's Association of New Zealand .

            Your may want to contact them to find out about local resources in your own area that you could consult for an accurate diagnosis and possible treatment options.

            What, if any treatment are you receiving now?
            Steve
            TouretteLinks Forum

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

              Many thanks for the link Steve - I'll definitely make contact with them again but they unfortunately do not have an online support group.
              Only treatment has been and remains meds and cognitive behaviour therapy...
              Last edited by Beth; January 15, 2016, 11:20 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                Only treatment has been and remains meds and cognitive behaviour therapy...
                That's correct, if the diagnosis is Tourette Syndrome, and the state of the art in 2016 happens to be the ability to manage symptoms using these two strategies.

                As of today, there is no cure for Tourette, so the best we can do is pick our battles, and manage what we can.

                If there are comorbid (associated disorders) most if not all can be effectively treated with medications and supportive psychotherapy.

                Tics can be managed in a large percentage of cases with good behavior therapy, that usually requires a lot of hard work on behalf of the patient, but can be very effective in managing targeted tics. Sometimes concomitant medication support may be required, but ot necessary for behavior therapy to be successful.

                Why have these options not lived up to your expectations so far?
                Steve
                TouretteLinks Forum

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                  "Why have these options not lived up to your expectations so far?"
                  Not sure...all I know is that it is progressively getting worse over the years. And because , so far my doctors haven't been able to exactly "label" it, I am unable to succeed in exploring the subject matter on my own. That's why I am reaching out to see if there is anybody else who has experience (themselves or knows someone) of my exact symptoms in an effort to point me in the right direction....

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                  • #10
                    Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                    That's why I am reaching out to see if there is anybody else who has experience (themselves or knows someone) of my exact symptoms in an effort to point me in the right direction....
                    It seems you have been reaching out on the internet for at least the lat eight years, based on the identical posts you've made elsewhere, and the answers you are given don't seem to be what you would like to hear.

                    Tic disorders can only be diagnosed by a qualified medical professional, so hearing something from someone on the internet isn't going to be worth listening to, because a qualified medical professional would likely run some diagnostic tests to rule out certain medical conditions, then would take a complete medical and family history, and observe your symptoms.

                    In order to have an accurate and competent assessment, you need to be seen by a medical professional with training and clinical experience with tic disorders. There is no shortcut for this.

                    The treatment options will depend on your symptoms, and to what degree they impact your life.

                    At your age of 47, you may find that cognitive behavior therapy may be the option you may want to explore to see if it's right for you.

                    Reality check: if your diagnosis happens to be Tourette Syndrome, and we have no way of knowing if it is or isn't, there is NO CURE for Tourette. As mentioned earlier you can learn strategies to manage your symptoms , and with some acceptance on your part, self advocacy and negotiation with people you might encounter, you should be able to live a happy, productive life.

                    It would take commitment and hard work on your part.

                    Please contact the New Zealand Association for Tourette, and speak with Robyn. Ask her to point you to a qualified medical professional who may be able to help you.
                    Steve
                    TouretteLinks Forum

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                      Yeah - reached out over the internet eight years ago but have not done so since. Just wanted to see if anything new had "raised its head since I last looked. I thank you for your time Steve...I think I understand what you have been saying now - the penny just dropped in this last reply to me...Sorry that it took so long. I will definitely speak to Robyn - many thanks for this.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                        Please keep us posted on your progress, and when you speak to Robyn at the Tourette's Association of New Zealand, give her our regards from the Tourette Canada Forum.

                        Robyn has been a participant here in the past.
                        Steve
                        TouretteLinks Forum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Can Anyone Help Me....

                          I will indeed Steve...and again MANY THANKS

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