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any insight? Anyone else have this?

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  • any insight? Anyone else have this?

    I have been diagnosed with tourettes long ago but was only the cause of stuttering. now I have very frightening thoughts and urges that disturb me. my doctor has mentioned he thinks it's tourettes again. from my own research I think it's a mix of OCD and tourettes.

    an example of a typical urge that happened today.

    While on highway with girlfriend I had an urge and thought to grab the steering wheel and turn it towards the ditch. i do not want to die nor kill my girlfriend but get urges of such things constantly when my mind is not occupied.

    If I see a knife I worry that something bad will happen and if I'm thinking about it long enough i worry and have excessive thoughts of me hurting someone or myself. I am worried that I may be turning into a psychopath and it worries me that I may lose control some day and do all these horrible things i worry about.

    It's kind of a double dose for me.. I get a tick that is hard to forget about, then obsess about it to the point that I imagine it happening.

    Am I the only on that experiences these things? Should I be locked up?

    I'm so scared all the time because of all this. I avoid things that may trigger a "tick" or obsession. I even avoid the person I love the most in the world in fear of an argument that may lead to something bad. Although nothing bad ever happen.

  • #2
    I don't know if this helps

    Hi cjwc
    I wasn't going to respond to your post because I felt since I do not struggle myself with the symptoms you describe maybe others would better be able to help you. But your post was so emotional and must have taken a lot of courage for you to write that I would feel bad if I didn't at least respond. You must feel like you put yourself out there and all of us reading have left you "hanging in the wind" as the saying goes.
    I am no medical doctor or Psychologist. I did go to a workshop yesterday presented by a Psychologist who himself has Tourettes and he did outline a few comorbidities of TS including OCD. I will do my best to relate a story he told that may be of use to you, of course I am going by memory so some details may be off but the intent should be the same: He decsribed a lady who had been diagnosed with OCD and after the birth of her child she kept thinking all these horrible thoughts like "If I drop her on the floor she will die". This lady didn't want to hurt her child (and didn't) and this Psychologist noted that the way he knew this was her OCD talking was that she was distraught by her thoughts and wanted desperatly to fix it. I don't know you and I am not a doctor but I would strongly suggest you go to someone who is knowledgable about OCD and talk to them.
    I can tell you are a good person by how distraught and upset you are by these thoughts. Just remember that you have not acted on these. Stop beating yourself up from thinking them and go talk to someone. I will say that in my line of work (mental health) I have met many people who are "delusional" or in need ot hospitalization - they tend not to realize that the thoughts they have are irrational. So I would take your posting here as a good sign
    This is all jmho, but I do thank you for trusting us all with your story


    • #3
      any insight? Anyone else have this?

      Thank you. That was very reasuring. I have spoken with a psychologist on the matter and she feels it's a mix of OCD, tic and urge related disorders and is treating me for all 3. I feel much better now but still have the occasional rebound at night. Thank you for that well thought out reply.


      • #4
        Obsesive thoughts

        Hi CJWC,
        I spent many years with awful thoughts. From jumping in front of cars and trains, self mutilation amoung other things. Knives , guns , head on crashes. ect
        I actually believed that I had Killed myself by jumping in front of a train..this thought seems to come back once in awhile...but how can it be so if I'm here ?

        It seemed like a constant battle. Many times a day obsesive thoughts would overwelm me. I just wasn't with it. People would be talking to me and I wouldn't hear a thing because I was obsessing about something.

        One of my memories is when I was in grade 7 and the math teacher threw a chalkboard brush at me and hit me in the forehead. He yelled "PAY ATTENTION" Of course I didn't even realize I wasn't paying attention...I was obsessing about something

        Anyway because I've only recently been told I have tourettes. I didn't know what to do.

        For myself what works for me now , is to be aware(cognitive) when these thoughts pop up. Then you can do something immediately.. I find myself laughing a lot at myself telling myself what a ridicules thought that is and find I can direct myself back into what I was doing. Actually enjoy what I am doing and get right into it. All this took a bit of practice.
        I've also developed a spiritual side where I ask for guidance before I act on important things.
        Anyway I hope this helps a bit..