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  • Relatives

    I just found out that my brother is visiting for two weeks.

    This is the same brother that told me that there is nothing wrong with my son that a few smacks on the bottom won't fix.

    I have told him about TS several times and at one point he was so nasty to my son that I banned him from my home!

    A week later he came and apologized but I don't think he really accepts that my son has TS.

    My brother is highly educated therefore, I don't understand his reaction.

    I don't want to ban my brother from visiting but I forbid anyone to insult my son.

    Any advice?

  • #2
    Relatives

    Steph,

    It seems relatives can either be your strongest allies or your most fervent obstacles.

    You may wish to have a look at this thread from some time ago

    In that thread the following point was made {edits in brackets for context}:

    Perhaps {a third party such as }your therapist or physician can of assistance in informing/educating your husband {or relative}, provided he is willing to listen, to help him understand that sometimes it isn't just "bad habits or behavior", "stubbornness", or "drama".

    Could there be some denial:?

    "A member of my family couldn't possibly have something like this!"

    Could it be fear?:

    "I don't want this to be true so I refuse to let it be true."

    Or, could it be about power struggles?:

    "She thinks this is a problem and I hate/am angry with her so I'll refuse to accept this" .

    Friends support friends in time of need, and the same should apply to spousal relationships.

    Can a third party counselor or health professional help in a relationship where one partner unwilling or incapable of providing support?

    Would it be different if the situation were reversed or if the need for support was in connection with a medical issue like cancer or diabetes?
    Steve
    TouretteLinks Forum

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    • #3
      Relatives

      Steve,

      You make a good point about relatives and it seems that mine is more of an obstacle than any kind of help.

      Except for my parents, none of my family live here therefore they don't have to face a problem they can just forget about it until the next visit.

      My brother is visiting for only a limited time therefore it is near impossible to seek help from a qualified professional. Honestly at my job many times I help families with their emotional struggles and have formed strong bonds quickly because of my communication skills.

      My brother flies fighter jets for the military therefore control is always high on his list. With the syndrome that my son has, which he has no control over, then this is a serious concern for him.

      I think it is a power issue but how do I help my brother see the same boy my son has always been?

      Comment


      • #4
        Your visiting brother

        Oh, Stephanie, my heart goes out to you.

        My brother is also in the military, but he doesn't expect my son's to be as routine as he is. Mind you, his daughters have to tow the line...

        I don't really have any advise as I haven't yet had to spend some time with relatives since the diagnosis, but maybe it would help if you printed out some of the great material from this website and left it in your brother's room?? Maybe some areas highlighted, etc. would be helpful?

        Good luck!

        Be well,
        Jori

        Comment


        • #5
          Relatives

          Hi Jori,

          Just hearing you say that you understand is really nice, thanks!

          I will leave some material in his room and will try to show him how the syndrome affects my son's life.

          How are you doing?

          How is your family?

          Keep us posted.

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