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Mom Break!!!!

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  • Mom Break!!!!

    I am having an overwhelming day and to top it all off my hubby is gone out of town for work. Does any of you have children that do NOT go to other friends houses? That is my TS+ son, the friends always come here, and they mostly end up playing with my younger son because Chase would rather be alone. Chase doesn't have a lot of friends and his brother Carter is more outgoing so Chase usually gets left out. Not that it bothers him because if he has his own way

    For my mom break, I made my 2 sons and their friend play outside. They stayed outside for almost an hour so all I did was read. Chase (TS+) would rather be inside that outside. I was ready to explode because I NEVER seem to have alone time until the boys are in bed. Can anyone relate to me at all or am I just having a crazy day? I feel like everyone elses kids are out and about and mine choose to stay in... it's a battle to get them out.

    Also how does everyone try to deal with the stress. I am working hard on NOT yelling. I have improved a lot and haven't yelled in a while. The kitchen timer and 1-2-3 magic is the answer at the moment. I am just having a frustrating and tiring day and I thought coming on here will make me feel better. It always does... this forum is so wonderful!!!

  • #2
    Re: Mom Break!!!!

    I am glad the forum is a source of refuge for you Crystal.

    I too have been through what you describe. It has only really been this past year (my son is now 13) that my son has begun spending time out of the house without me.

    WHen he was 12 he joined Air Cadets and that has made a huge difference. My previous home body is now signing up for everything going at Cadets and spends every moment he can there. He made flag party this October and now his commanding officer phoned us today to say he was considering him for the Survive Air team! He said he is always here for everything! He further went on to say that he can really tell how much he enjoys Cadets and how he always trys his best and really wants to be a good Cadet.


    Start now figuring out what your son's interests are and give them a try. You may have a few false starts. We sure did. I thought we would never find anywhere for him to feel like he "belonged".

    The sort of things that usually work best for our kids are usually highly structured environments, have few transitions, and your child has a strong interest in the activity.
    Last edited by mom2TSguy; October 1, 2007, 04:21 PM. Reason: names


    • #3
      Re: Mom Break!!!!

      Thanks for your input. Chase was in karate but he decided he needed a break from that so I am waiting for the new spring activities to come into effect. He LOVES hockey but hates to skate so this winter we went out and played in our boots on the outdoor rinks.

      Last weekend we went and played baseball and he seemed to enjoy that. I guess I am just envious of those parents whose kids play outside all the time. But on the other hand I guess I should be happy that my kids want to spend time with me but I told them today that sometimes moms need breaks.


      • #4
        Re: Mom Break!!!!

        Hi Crystal,

        My son Andrew (7) is also a home body and would happily spend every moment inside (usually in the same room as me). My daughter Camryn should have been raised by wolves (ha ha) because she loves everything about the outside and often is more centred outside. It can be exhausting even when he and his sister are having a good day. I'm now a single mom, but my ex-husband also worked out of town for upto 5 weeks at a time so I understand what you are going through. Since you are in Alberta, have you contacted Family Supports for Children with Disabilities (FSCD)? It's through the Alberta Government (although may be the same in other provinces too). I just started with them and they can offer things like funding for Respite services. Andrew was approved for 240 hrs a year of casual care funding as well as 6 full day (24 hr care) so that I could go away for a night every now and then. Basically they pay a certain amount towards a sitter for you so you can get away and have a break.

        Andrew will also be starting spring activities, but I think it's important for you to take time for yourself. If you're anything like me, driving the kids to and from activities isn't really a break for me....especially if your younger child is still in your care while you "watch" the older childs activity.

        The respite hours could even be used for you to just go out and pick up a few groceries without having high needs kids in toe, or you could use it to go to the coffee shop and read in peace.

        I think so many of us forget to take care of ourselves. I've done that many times and I get so burned out that I yell and feel like running away from home. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to take care of yourself. It's hard work being the parent of an exceptional child. This is just one idea. Feel free to take it or leave my advice. It doesn't cost anything to get the hours set up, just a phone call and a meeting with the worker. Then you have it if your going crazy sometime. Kind of like insurance. Good luck. I feel for you.



        • #5
          Re: Mom Break!!!!

          Yes I have heard of FSCD and we belong to it. Up till now there was a shortage of aides so Chase's worker would only come every second Sunday. Starting this week it will be Tuedays and Thursdays then every second Sunday. Things will be getting easier now with those extra hours.

          Chase has been approved for 200 hours respite and 140 hours Community Aide for the year. That's to get him OUT OF THE HOUSE and into the community. I am now having a rule for Carter. NO FRIENDS INSIDE when Chase is gone with Wendy because that is MY TIME.

          I had an issue with a neighbor because I wouldn't let her kid inside the other day. Ummm SORRY I already my my 2 kids and another kid in. I was so mad that I called my husband at work and told him I felt like writing a letter to the neighbors telling them exactly what it's like for me as a parent. Sure they kick their kids out and they don't come home until dark... must be nice... well not really. I at least know where my kids are and what they are doing. I was just having a really bad day yesterday because I normally don't get THAT mad.

          Today I took the boys into St ALbert for the day and I order the book "HI, I'M ADAM" from Chapters, so I am looking forward to getting that. We had a good trip and only 1 time out the whole time (woo hoo). Thanks to those who listened to me grumble the other day. You're the best