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Grief Found in the Most Unlikely Places

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  • Grief Found in the Most Unlikely Places

    Hi everyone,

    This article talks about grief - for a parent of a child with special needs - it's based on the experience of a parent of a child with physical needs, but could easily extend to parents of a child living with Tourette Syndrome. Once you have a diagnosis that your child is "different", many parents find themselves grieving the loss of the dream of a perfect child. But there is a catch - no child is perfect, every person is living with something that marks them as "different". And the grief you feel after diagnosis will come and go as you pass through the various stages of grief that include (in Kubler Ross' 5 stages): denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

    Why am I posting this article? Because the writer gives you permission to grieve:

    The magical thing about grief is it can be transformed. It must be expressed and we must do so without judgement. Grief is very personal and what may trigger one person may have no effect on another. How we grieve is also very personal. Some people have moments of guttural wailing and this releases the built up pressure just enough to face another day. Others may not cry at all and yet still experience deep grief. There are as many theories about grief as there are losses to grieve. Many theories are inaccurate but have managed to stick around in our collective unconscious like a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe on a hot day. The five stages of ‘grieving’ comes to mind. Don’t even get me started on that one.


    It is best to really listen to your self and to honour your grief anytime you sense it percolating. Sometimes you will be able to anticipate it like when your child’s birthday is approaching while other times, it will take you off guard. Telling yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling the way you do does nothing to alleviate your suffering. You may manage to push it down into the dark, cavernous places of your psyche but it will only remain there before given the opportunity to be expressed. Our bodies and our minds can be very creative in expressing emotion no matter how determined we are to keep things buried. Approaching grief with a sense of curiosity and self-love can go a long way in its transformation. It is tedious and exhausting yet necessary if you wish to eventually feel more joy and less sadness in your life. Each time you acknowledge and express your grief, you move closer to once again feeling profoundly happy.
    If you would like to read more of this article, click on this link:
    Grief Found in the Most Unlikely Places
    Last edited by Tina; August 22, 2017, 02:47 PM.
    Tina, Forum Moderator, TSFC Staff Liaison

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