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  • Homeschooling Pros & Cons

    What are the benefits and disadvantages (if any) to homeschooling?

    What should be considered before embarking on this path?

    Which children benefit most from homeschooling?

    What qualifications does a parent need to homeschooling a child?

    How does a child learn peer to peer social skills while being home schooled?
    29
    Yes
    58.62%
    17
    No, not interested
    20.69%
    6
    Thinking about it, tell me more
    20.69%
    6
    Steve
    TouretteLinks Forum

  • #2
    Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

    sometimes I wish I could be home schooled but my mom does not want to

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    • #3
      Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

      We have used a variety of combinations of homeschooling and both public and private schooling over the past five years. In BC, you can actually combine both and just take the subjects you want at the public school, then take the others by distance education.

      We turned our schooling around with our son with TS+ by enrolling him in distance ed. for the academic subjects (so that he could do them at any time he could focus) and putting him in only electives for half a day each day at the public high school. We had done this earlier with two electives and an academic in middle school and it worked very well. The trick is to get a full 1/2 day with blocks together. Because our son is a performer and loves theatre, he took just theatre courses. After a semester, he had gained so much acceptance by the theatre kids, he begged to go full-time so we added two academics and finished the others up by distance ed. This year, he's full-time in school except for PE 10, which he's wisely choosing to do by distance ed.

      For us, the hybrid model worked much better than just straight homeschooling, which left me 24 hrs. a day pretty much with a challenging kid :-[ and him feeling like his mother was a convenient target for all frustrations >!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

        In BC, you can actually combine both and just take the subjects you want at the public school, then take the others by distance education.
        What a great concept. I wonder how many other jurisdictions offer that choice?
        Steve
        TouretteLinks Forum

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons


          Evan

          When my son stays home all day he eventually feels lost or out of touch with others. The school work does not seem to be enough to keep him motivated.
          We have split his days before so that he still had time in class and the rest at home.

          Is it the work in class that bothers you or the people around you?

          My son is taking french and flute in school. Although he did not much care for drama last year he does like plays.

          Is there a class you prefer?

          The option to split part of your day at home or in class is a wonderful option. I could see that as a great way to find some balance when being at school all day is just overwhelming.

          PJK

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          • #6
            Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

            At the moment I am homeschooling my son - through distance education full time, over here in New Zealand you can also do part time school the rest home etc. Next year we are hoping to start Chris back part time at school maybe just doing the technology classes - he has dyselxia and struggles at school and with his OCD being extreme at the moment he just can not cope at school so for him this is the best option right now. Our goal is to have him back in school full time in the next 2 years, which will work out well as by then I will have finished my degree and hopefully can go back to work.....

            Cheers Jaxx (New Zealand)

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            • #7
              Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

              Originally posted by valmac
              For us, the hybrid model worked much better than just straight homeschooling, which left me 24 hrs. a day pretty much with a challenging kid :-[ and him feeling like his mother was a convenient target for all frustrations >!
              Thanks for the information. We have just embarked on this ourselves with no notice...so until I can find another placement (if one exists) this may be something to look at. Right now I am finding it a bit difficult however if this turns into a long term thing I will have to plan our weeks better. That may help allevite his need to use me as his "punching bag" as right now we have no routine set up for this since we had one day's notice to begin.

              As much as I love my son I am finding it hard to be with a challenging child 24/7 with no breaks at all.

              Patti

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                Originally posted by mom2TSguy
                As much as I love my son I am finding it hard to be with a challenging child 24/7 with no breaks at all.
                Fully understand that - right now we are going through med changes and my god it is so hard, things are not going well, and I also to have my son 24/7 was suppose to go to his dads every second weekend but his OCD is so extreme he isn't going.
                I know we will make it, but boy do I shed a lot of tears when he is in bed at night.......

                Take care Jaxx (New Zealand)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                  Dear Hippygal and Mom2TSguy:
                  Oh boy, do I hear you! There are so many parents out there living lives of quiet desperation, wondering how they'll make it! But we do, miraculously, and you will too. We have been there so many times as parents, especially with our TS son.

                  Is there anyone who can take off some of the load? We lucked out with another family, not related to us, who have hosted our son for 2 weeks every summer. We have their son (who doesn't have TS but has some anxieties and ADD) visit for 2 weeks as well. For some reason, these two boys hit it off and are like brothers but only see one another in the summer as they live 1500 mi. apart! Keep your eyes and ears open for possibilities... they come up in the oddest places sometimes.

                  The other thing about TS is that it does wax and wane. I've found that trying to build myself up in the "waning" times helps. Take time for yourself, even if it's just a few minutes here and there. Even deep breathing helps. We gave up looking for the "big break" and now are learning to look for "mini vacations": very small breaks, sometimes less than 5 min. doing something that just remind us that this isn't forever. It really isn't forever, although it seems like it. TS and your child do change over time--that's the challenge and the hope.

                  The tears help too! As parents we get to the point where we never have a chance to express our own feelings but we need to, and they're very real and potent so it's best not to let them build up a head of steam.

                  I've also been the "punching bag" and found that it needed to be addressed through the doctor (after the fact) as the middle of a rage attack was not a good time! In the midst of the storm, all I could do was protect myself by putting locked doors between us and phone for help. My husband, adult daughter and even the police have all been called. Even TS is not an excuse for allowing abuse and our son had to learn that the hard way. He was admitted to the psych ward twice for attacks on me and, although it was tough love, he did learn that he could not hit me without huge consequences. He now is able to restrain himself, although he is sometimes verbally abusive. I have had to take counselling to help me get a better perspective on what's really happening with him. Now that I don't react, the verbal abuse has lessened.

                  Take care! It's so difficult to remember how lovable both you and your child are through all this--and you certainly are! Now that he's 15, my son's come to a much better understanding and acceptance of all that TS+ entails, plus we have been fortunate to have the tics pretty much disappear, something that is fairly common in TS (according to the research presented at the conference). There's lots of reason to hope!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                    Originally posted by valmac
                    I've also been the "punching bag" and found that it needed to be addressed through the doctor (after the fact) as the middle of a rage attack was not a good time! In the midst of the storm, all I could do was protect myself by putting locked doors between us and phone for help. My husband, adult daughter and even the police have all been called.
                    I am so sorry you had to go through that. We too have had rage issues but they are well behind us. There were many times I had to call my husband to come home.

                    My son as well has been hospitalized in the past but for depression. That was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. The time during his hospitalization was one of the worst things we ever had to go through.

                    I went a little over the top with my punching bag statement as things are not all that bad right now. I sometimes get overwhelmed with all of this and as each new hurdle presents itself I go through a period of desperation. We have no family here and my husband travels for work so there are times when I feel totally alone in all of this. Now is one of those times.

                    I was just thinking last night how selfish I have been to feel so upset about all of this becaue as hard as it is for me it must be 100 times harder for my son.

                    Sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

                    Thanks for sharing your story.

                    Patti

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                      Thanks, Patti. I'm so glad to have found the forum because, although things are going miraculously well now (no medication, we can actually do things without having explosions, etc.) there are times when we all feel, no matter how many people we have around us, like no one understands. I guess what we're both saying is "Yes, lots of TS parents understand completely . We're not nuts! ;D We're just often pushed to the end of our endurance and need to know that we will get through it."

                      It must be really tough for you with no family close by. Thanks for sharing on the forum, though, because it really does help to know that you're not alone in what seems so surreal sometimes. I hope you'll meet someone close by who can be there for you as a friend who doesn't judge.

                      I'm actually at the point now where I'm grateful for some of the things I've been forced to learn about brain function. So many people who seem to have it all together now confide in me their concerns about their own behaviour and impulses or those of loved ones and are relieved to know that, although it doesn't appear "normal", so many of these things are part of the neurodevelopmental spectrum and there is at least a partial explanation for these differences. I don't know who made up the definition of "normal" but it seems to me that very few people actually fit into it!

                      About hospitalization: don't you think it's often traumatizing for the whole family, although sometimes necessary? I sought out some counselling myself just because I felt so guilty for having gotten the help my son needed. He hasn't been hospitalized for 2 1/2 yrs. now but still resents it having happened and openly blames us. My son's also now seeing an adolescent psychiatrist and we've told her privately that we believe he is still suffering trauma from being hospitalized because he had no memory of the behaviours that put him there. I didn't do much at my counselling appointments except talk and it really did help because, at the end, the counsellor just reassured me I wasn't crazy and that I had done everything I could have. No matter how many times I told myself that, it never went in! Now at least I can tell myself "Bruce says I'm not crazy!" ;D

                      We've identified the Nov. - May period as being difficult for depression and have invested in a SADS (seasonally affective disorder) lamp that my son uses for about 1/2 hr. per day in the morning. This is supposed to help with sleep too. I'm not sure if it works or if it's just a placebo effect but he at least feels like he's doing something positive and not involving meds! I use it too and we got our extended health plan to pay for it. They now make small lamps about the size of a small notebook too.

                      Cheers
                      Val

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                        valmac... I was wondering where you bought the sad lamps? I would love to get one!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                          Heh, the topic of homeschooling turned into hospitalization and trauma stories...funny how converstions change

                          In the future, I hope to have a child or two, and to have them homeschooled for at least the 1st 5 years of their life, as those are the crutial years of development. Then, depending on my child's abilities, they may or may not go to full-time school. Half and half seems like the perfect solution for some and that makes me happy.

                          As for the rage stories...I feel saddened yet inspired by the difficulties people have gone through. My own sister had rage issues and put a hole in the upstairs hallway, but it turned out her ADD meds were the cause of that. Once she changed meds she was fine again. Don't know what people's kids are taking, but maybe that's something to double check?

                          Personally, I didn't go to preschool or any other form of school until I was 5. My dad worked full time and my mom worked part time. So in the mornings my grandma would come look after my sister and I and after my afternoon nap my mom would be home. I admit my socialization skills were not as well developped as that of kids who were preschooled, but I have better memories as a child and I don't think socialization at a young age would have made much difference anyway. Just the way I was when I was little. I did attend a language school for my native country (Latvian) so I got socialization that way and have known people since, it seems, that I was an infant.

                          So all in all, homeschooling and public/private schooling all have their pros and cons, it's just up to the individual child and parents to decide what's best for the child.

                          I hope everyone finds what they're looking for.
                          Marisa

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                            As much as I love my son I am finding it hard to be with a challenging child 24/7 with no breaks at all.
                            I totally agree with you Patti. The time at school is a break from Chase and Chase's break from me. He doesn't want to leave the house normally so that is a way of him socializing. I also wouldn't be able to provide him with the proper education because he would get way too frustrated with me. Chase tantrums at home and holds it together at school.

                            I applaud all those parents out there that are able to home school their children. You must have an amazing patience level. Great Job!!!
                            CRYSTAL

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Homeschooling Pros & Cons

                              I have a question for people in Edmonton.

                              How does homeschooling work? My son will be entering Grade 7. I have information on Argyll Centre ... but the funding part is confusing to me. I would have to quit my job (or at least take a leave of absence). My son is going to be coded 44 for EPSB (severe medical). My understanding is that there is basic funding and then funding for recreation and other optional activities. I do not have an FSCD contract but that has been suggested (for medication (and other) coverage). I am wondering because my son has been completely unsuccessful in school this year and regularly indicates that he wants to kill himself when he is made to leave school (with either my husband or myself) during the day due to rages, etc.

                              I know that homeschooling would not be easy ... but I just want to look at my options ... and get the perspective of other parents who are actively homeschooling. Who knows? Grade 7 may be 'a breeze' if the right supports are put into place.

                              Any advice or thoughts?

                              Thanks.

                              Jenny

                              P.S. We are involved with the Glenrose to deal with his medical needs and feelings.
                              Last edited by Jenny; May 22, 2007, 10:53 PM.

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