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Tourette Canada Online Forum is a free, safe, moderated online community where registered users can exchange ideas, information and support about issues related to Tourette Syndrome. Tourette Canada has recently changed the server and refreshed the pages so returning members will notice a brighter look. Tourette Canada welcomes back two former moderators, Janet Rumsey and Cathy Wylie, to the Forum. Their knowledge and insight will serve the Tourette Forum participants with dedication and expertise.

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dating with tourettes

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  • dating with tourettes

    hey..its been a while since ive posted..kinda crazy around here...
    anyways, i was just wondering if any of you "youths" out there have had any negative or positive experiences with dating while having tourettes that you would like to share???
    when do you feel its appropriate to tell the other person?
    for those of you who have told the other person, has he/she never responded negatively and what strategy did you use to tell him/her???
    if you have any advice on this subject, would you pass it on in this forum???
    i need all the help i can get...
    thnx

  • #2
    dating with tourettes

    Hi teenwithtics

    Although I am not a "youth" anymore, as an adult with TS, I can share some experiences. I don't know if there is a right time to tell the other person about your TS, but it is who you are, and if the person truly cares, then they accept you for who you are. (sounds clich? but true). If you spend alot of time together already, then they likely have already noticed something.

    The TSFC is releasing a new DVD - "A Jouney of Discovery" - where a number of adults talk about various issues including disclosure - i.e. when to tell about TS at work, relationships, etc. You may want to check out a copy as there is alot of experience and opinions shared in this video.

    Good luck to you out there. The teen years are great but tough.

    Comment


    • #3
      dating with tourettes

      Hey teenwithtics, great to see you back on here!
      I guess I can't really help you much with that, because since I found out about TS in September I haven't been in a relationship with anyone. I can see how it would be a problem or an awkward situation though. Anyways just wanted to welcome you back on!

      Keep Posting!
      Steph
      ~be a miracle~

      Comment


      • #4
        dating with tourettes

        Teenwithtics:

        I know you posted your question a week ago but wanted to see what others would provide before jumping in.

        When you feel comfortable being around someone and they are special to you, most importantly they treat you special then you can tell them anything.

        You are who you are and people, especially partners have to take you for who you are (face value) if any kind of relationship will work.

        I am sure it feels off to try to go there with someone, but if it does, then the time is wrong or the person is wrong for you.

        Be true to yourself. You deserve the best in life. :D
        PJK

        Comment


        • #5
          dating with tourettes

          I had a 700 word response, and then realized it would make a good article for my web site. Once it gets past my Editor, I'll re-reply to this article, and let you guys check it out. I promise.
          Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
          http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

          Comment


          • #6
            dating with tourettes

            this is me mandeep ...i am from Surrey B.C. in Canada.. Iam east indian yes im brown....and I have full blown Tourettes... i have the swearing part .....i have had many girlfriends ..well not many but quite a bit like 5 or 6 lololol .....anyways dating is not an easy thing.. for me but I still keep it up everyday and live a HAPPY life... {Edit by moderator {s} language}
            m.sanghera

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            • #7
              dating with tourettes

              Hi everyone, i'm pretty new here and i am totally hopeless, i'm 14, haven't had a girlfriend yet and to make it worse I get so stressed about this that I can't even go up to a girl to talk to her because i'm always afraid that my TS will make me do something stupid. Got any advice on how to get over this and just someone out. :?

              Comment


              • #8
                dating with tourettes

                You know, I might have ADHD. I did write an article after my last posting here, but it is not about this conversation. Um... Well... Oh, darn.

                http://tourettetiger.home.mindspring...diagnosis.html

                Dating is hard for pretty much all of us with TS+, no matter how old. I like telling people about it. Talk about breaking the ice! And besides, if you find out they can't handle the TS+, out they go! I don't have time for wimpy women, and the TS+ weeds them out pretty quickly.

                I'm not prejudice against people without TS+, just people who can't handle that I have TS+. Right?

                ps: watch the language, kids. Coprolexia is not a real symptom, it is something I made up - so no excuses, ey? Frak and Frell cover it all pretty well.
                Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
                http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

                Comment


                • #9
                  dating with tourettes

                  Hey ticboy, sorry to be answering you so late.... my advice would be to first attempt to just hang out with some girls as a 'buddy'. If you start out by just befriending some girls that you think are nice, but not interested in dating, you won't feel so pressured and it'll help you become more comfortable hanging out with girls AND, who knows, maybe you'll end up developing something with one of them. OR, they may start trying to play matchmaker for you and help you find girls you ARE interested in dating. :D

                  this is gonna sound kind of weird, but I find my TS is a good tool for weeding out guys when I'm dating. I often tell them pretty early on. either they ask me a few questions about it and then we move on to other stuff, or they start practically dissecting me, doing nothing but asking about my Tourette Syndrome and trying to 'catch' me ticcing. ugh! needless to say, when I start feeling like a butterfly pinned under glass, I run. :P

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    dating with tourettes

                    Haejinn:

                    Good on ya! Good advice. I have to admit, if I had listened to my girlfriends about my Girlfriends, I would have been a lot happier over the years.

                    And (I promise no details) if you have friends who you can trust, and they are friends with someone you are interested in, they will often put in a good word on your behalf. The trick is not "writing a note after gym class" about it. Be subtle. Or not. And don't be embarrassed when your friend notices that you've asked about that other person about 18 times in a row. Let them enjoy that you are crushing on someone. That's what friends are for, they are your support system. And besides, you can return the favor later.

                    I'll give you an example: I got a date with a woman (who became a VERY serious Girlfriend) from the grapevine if you can believe it. We ran into each other at a mutual friend's house: introductions, helloes, not much more than that. I went away for a few months (the flow and ebb of life) and when I came back around, I ran into her again. I asked her out, and she said she had been waiting for months for me to come back and ask her out. Guess why? A mutual girlfriend had told her ALL about me. Gulp. Uh, well, I guess it wasn't SO bad if she still wanted to go out with me. And yes, that mutual friend had told her about the TS+. Cool.
                    Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
                    http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      dating with tourettes

                      hey,l i just found this place. nice thread.

                      Im 19, and married. before my wife, i had a couple of gfs. the only thing i can tell you from experience is that most of the time the gf doesn't notice, or she doesn't care. if you find someone you can hang with without ts being everyday subject, i say stick with that person. if not a gf, as a friend. i have the twitching thing going on and i've noticed that everyone can tell you have a twitch, no matter how well you mask it. it's those people that dont care to mention it that are the kinds of people u wanna hang out with. as for telling someone, let them know when u feel like it. half the times i let my friends know it was followed by "ooohh, thats what u got?" then a "ok...wanna get some food now?" i mean, let them know when u feel comfortable. and i've found it fun to smack people when i felt like it and then tell them "srry man it's the twitch".
                      Be the parent, not another doctor.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        dating with tourettes

                        I agree with call_me_alive, the people you should be hanging out/friends with are the ones who won't make a big deal out of your TS and who don't point out your tics. You just have to tell your friends when you are comfortable telling them, or not at all...I've only told my closest 5 friends, and only 8 people know in total, and when I told people they were like, "Oh really? Okay...". Some of them wanted to know more about what it was then they dropped it, and some were like, "Oh that's why you stretch your neck a lot." If it's going to be a big deal to somebody, then you shouldn't tell them, or maybe they're not the right kind of person to be hanging out with. I find that it's usually a bigger deal to me that I have TS than it is to them.

                        Anyways, that's what I've found has worked best for me!
                        Steph
                        ~be a miracle~

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          dating with tourettes

                          Originally posted by call_me_alive
                          hey,l i just found this place. nice thread.
                          Thanks for the compliment. And welcome to the Board!

                          I like where this thread is going. I've talked to TS+ teenagers many times, and I am amazed at how many of them (we're talking 12-14 years old here) think it is okay to just not mention their TS to girls they like. As if they can hide it permanently. Ugh. I ask them, "Do you want to hang out with a girl who would freak out if she found out you had TS? Do you want to spend time with someone who will judge you by your tics, and not your heart?"

                          The stunned silence is very gratifying, but also a little spooky. I can not wait for a time when our kids grow up knowing that they don't have to hide anything, let alone something innocent like TS.
                          Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
                          http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            dating with tourettes

                            I have to agree with you tourettetiger. I'm 15 and there is no way that i'm going out with a girl if she doesn't know about my TS because i'm not going to be hanging around someone who can't deal with me having a disorder. :!:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Be upfront

                              Tic_Boy,

                              The first thing you have to do is be upfront with your crush as well as your friends. It may be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but once you do it the first time, the rest come naturally. This is just my opinon, as not everybody is as upfront as I am. I was diagnosed at 9 years of age and have made speeches at hosptials as well written an article for the Globe & Mail on special needa and what it is like to have them. I have TS, OCD, ADD, and short cycle bipolar. Liffe isn't easy. I'll be the first on to say that, but if you can talk to a teacher or somebody of trust in your school, perhaps they can explain to your peers about TS and what is is like to have it and to live with it. However only do this if you feel ready to answer questions by other people who are not as educated about the "disorder" as others that have it are. Just be yourself and stay calm through the hard times. Feel free to send me an e-mail or reply to the fourm or create a pm. Anyway, hope this helps and best wishes. Remember you are not alone.

                              Regards,
                              -Andrew
                              Andrew W. Stewart<br />Toronto, Ontario<br />Canada<br />&quot;The first problems we must solve are our own&quot;

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