Well, my long-awaited doctor's appointment with a neuropsychiatrist is tomorrow afternoon. I'm so excited (anticipating that this is the end, I'll finally have an answer) and nervous (what if he says there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just lazy and/or spoiled as a kid - like my mom thinks 90% of the time). But this guy is one of the top TS doctor in the province and has been highly recommended to me by several people. So I'm sure it'll go fine.
I just want him to confirm that I have SPD and give me some coping strategies. My parents think it's all in my head and I'm just lazy and trying to find an excuse so I don't have to go out or do anything. But if a doctor confirms it, then nobody can doubt me and question me anymore and I'll have full support. Plus, I'll finally know that it's not all in my head and I can stop doubting myself. And if I can have a few coping strategies to help me get out of the house and function like a normal person....That would be really nice!
But I'm so scared this is all going to backfire and I'm going to be told there's nothing wrong with me. Kuz if there's nothing wrong with me, then what's going on? Does that mean I really am just lazy? But a lazy person doesn't get UPSET about not going out, right? And I get upset about not doing anything, so I can't be lazy. A lazy person ENJOYS not doing anything. So if they say there's nothing wrong with me, then what is it? My worst fear is that there are no answers and I'll spend the rest of my life "existing" like this, kuz it sure isn't "living."
Wish me luck......