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Thread: dating with tourettes

  1. #1

    Default dating with tourettes

    hey..its been a while since ive posted..kinda crazy around here...
    anyways, i was just wondering if any of you "youths" out there have had any negative or positive experiences with dating while having tourettes that you would like to share???
    when do you feel its appropriate to tell the other person?
    for those of you who have told the other person, has he/she never responded negatively and what strategy did you use to tell him/her???
    if you have any advice on this subject, would you pass it on in this forum???
    i need all the help i can get...
    thnx

  2. #2

    Default dating with tourettes

    Hi teenwithtics

    Although I am not a "youth" anymore, as an adult with TS, I can share some experiences. I don't know if there is a right time to tell the other person about your TS, but it is who you are, and if the person truly cares, then they accept you for who you are. (sounds clich? but true). If you spend alot of time together already, then they likely have already noticed something.

    The TSFC is releasing a new DVD - "A Jouney of Discovery" - where a number of adults talk about various issues including disclosure - i.e. when to tell about TS at work, relationships, etc. You may want to check out a copy as there is alot of experience and opinions shared in this video.

    Good luck to you out there. The teen years are great but tough.

  3. #3

    Default dating with tourettes

    Hey teenwithtics, great to see you back on here!
    I guess I can't really help you much with that, because since I found out about TS in September I haven't been in a relationship with anyone. I can see how it would be a problem or an awkward situation though. Anyways just wanted to welcome you back on!

    Keep Posting!
    Steph
    ~be a miracle~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    962

    Default dating with tourettes

    Teenwithtics:

    I know you posted your question a week ago but wanted to see what others would provide before jumping in.

    When you feel comfortable being around someone and they are special to you, most importantly they treat you special then you can tell them anything.

    You are who you are and people, especially partners have to take you for who you are (face value) if any kind of relationship will work.

    I am sure it feels off to try to go there with someone, but if it does, then the time is wrong or the person is wrong for you.

    Be true to yourself. You deserve the best in life. :D
    PJK

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Georgia Chapter of the TSFC
    Posts
    272

    Default dating with tourettes

    I had a 700 word response, and then realized it would make a good article for my web site. Once it gets past my Editor, I'll re-reply to this article, and let you guys check it out. I promise.
    Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
    http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

  6. #6

    Default dating with tourettes

    this is me mandeep ...i am from Surrey B.C. in Canada.. Iam east indian yes im brown....and I have full blown Tourettes... i have the swearing part .....i have had many girlfriends ..well not many but quite a bit like 5 or 6 lololol .....anyways dating is not an easy thing.. for me but I still keep it up everyday and live a HAPPY life... {Edit by moderator {s} language}
    m.sanghera

  7. #7

    Default dating with tourettes

    Hi everyone, i'm pretty new here and i am totally hopeless, i'm 14, haven't had a girlfriend yet and to make it worse I get so stressed about this that I can't even go up to a girl to talk to her because i'm always afraid that my TS will make me do something stupid. Got any advice on how to get over this and just someone out. :?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Georgia Chapter of the TSFC
    Posts
    272

    Default dating with tourettes

    You know, I might have ADHD. I did write an article after my last posting here, but it is not about this conversation. Um... Well... Oh, darn.

    http://tourettetiger.home.mindspring...diagnosis.html

    Dating is hard for pretty much all of us with TS+, no matter how old. I like telling people about it. Talk about breaking the ice! And besides, if you find out they can't handle the TS+, out they go! I don't have time for wimpy women, and the TS+ weeds them out pretty quickly.

    I'm not prejudice against people without TS+, just people who can't handle that I have TS+. Right?

    ps: watch the language, kids. Coprolexia is not a real symptom, it is something I made up - so no excuses, ey? Frak and Frell cover it all pretty well.
    Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
    http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

  9. #9

    Default dating with tourettes

    Hey ticboy, sorry to be answering you so late.... my advice would be to first attempt to just hang out with some girls as a 'buddy'. If you start out by just befriending some girls that you think are nice, but not interested in dating, you won't feel so pressured and it'll help you become more comfortable hanging out with girls AND, who knows, maybe you'll end up developing something with one of them. OR, they may start trying to play matchmaker for you and help you find girls you ARE interested in dating. :D

    this is gonna sound kind of weird, but I find my TS is a good tool for weeding out guys when I'm dating. I often tell them pretty early on. either they ask me a few questions about it and then we move on to other stuff, or they start practically dissecting me, doing nothing but asking about my Tourette Syndrome and trying to 'catch' me ticcing. ugh! needless to say, when I start feeling like a butterfly pinned under glass, I run. :P

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Georgia Chapter of the TSFC
    Posts
    272

    Default dating with tourettes

    Haejinn:

    Good on ya! Good advice. I have to admit, if I had listened to my girlfriends about my Girlfriends, I would have been a lot happier over the years.

    And (I promise no details) if you have friends who you can trust, and they are friends with someone you are interested in, they will often put in a good word on your behalf. The trick is not "writing a note after gym class" about it. Be subtle. Or not. And don't be embarrassed when your friend notices that you've asked about that other person about 18 times in a row. Let them enjoy that you are crushing on someone. That's what friends are for, they are your support system. And besides, you can return the favor later.

    I'll give you an example: I got a date with a woman (who became a VERY serious Girlfriend) from the grapevine if you can believe it. We ran into each other at a mutual friend's house: introductions, helloes, not much more than that. I went away for a few months (the flow and ebb of life) and when I came back around, I ran into her again. I asked her out, and she said she had been waiting for months for me to come back and ask her out. Guess why? A mutual girlfriend had told her ALL about me. Gulp. Uh, well, I guess it wasn't SO bad if she still wanted to go out with me. And yes, that mutual friend had told her about the TS+. Cool.
    Darin M. Bush, The Tourette Tiger, author of "Tiger Trails"
    http://www.facebook.com/tourettetiger

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