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Thread: Denise the Menice

  1. #1

    Default Denise the Menice

    I have the most wonderfull, stuborn 7yr. old on the planet. We are out of parenting ideas. We have tried everything, emptying his room, taking away his game boy for a week, grounded after school every day, nothing works. He just doesnt care. We need some new ideas for parenting the difficult child, anybody got any??? He is fine when his med's are working but between dinner and bed, and getting up and leaving for school he is un managable and I am going out of my mind. My common law partner is ready to go live somewhere else. Between the 3 boys and myself we live in a nut house. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Denise the Menice

    I have the most wonderfull, stuborn 7yr. old on the planet.
    I presume your seven year old is one of the boys with Tourette. If that's the case, I would propose that punishing him for behaviour that might be related to his disorder will likely be counter productive. Punishment tells him the tics or uncontrolled behaviour is his fault, which would inevitably raise his anxiety level, thereby raising the tic threshold.

    Have you considered some form of family counseling with a child behavioural specialist? Do you feel the exasperation of your life partner might be due to a misunderstanding of your son's disorder?

    You may wish to make use of some of the literature available from TSFC or from the Forum which describes the involuntary nature of Tourette

    In my own view, your obligation is to find a way to help your son deal with his disorder, so he can grow up to be a well adjusted adult. Your life partner should be supportive of that goal and help you achieve it.

    Have you investigated the availability of family counseling in your area?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    St. John's NL
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    Default Denise the Menice

    Hi there

    Have you read Ross Green's book "the Explosive Child" it is all about collaborative problem solving with your child? It is a great resource and it really works.

    it is discussed in a thread already on this forum. key Ross Green into the search option at the top of your page and it will find all the threads where this is discussed.
    Janet, mom of 4

    TSFC Homepage


    "Intelligence is always increasing; accommodation allows your intelligence to do what it has always done." Cassie Green, Washington College

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Default Denise the Menice

    Perform the search by entering the words "ross and green" without the quotations but with the word "and"

    The search engine requires the use of the word "and" for two word combinations such as Ross Green.

  5. #5

    Default Denise...

    He has TS and ADHD I am very well educated in TS and no he is not being punished for tic behavior. It is more ADHD stuff and just generally being a pain in the ... he is incredibly stubborn, for example he had a waffle for breakfast today, he wanted butter & honey on it and his dad only put honey on it. He refused to eat it and was pitchin a fit and refusing to eat. He started to rip it up and almost went to school with no breakfast. He eventually eat it after lots of crying, and getting grounded after school for screaming & yelling at me. He just wants things his way or not at all, it is kind of like having a 2ur. old who is almost 8.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Default Denise the Menice

    I can relate to the fuss over food even after you think you prepared it the way he wanted it. Our 8 yo who also has TSplus has issues with food. They seem to have settled in the past 6 months but we have had so many incidents over food that I would dread meal time. There are times that I would just prepare the food as he needed and if it was not right in his mind I would offer nothing else unless it was a piece of fruit. depending on his mood he sometimes ate fruit other times he cried till he too gave in and ate what was prepared.

    With some things I have him in the room with us when preparing his snacks so that I can constantly get his confirmation with what he feels he needs so I can be as proactive as possible. Do you think he would be willing to lend a hand for his snacks? I have 4 boys and totally can relate to the frustration because I have a 5 yo who also has food issues.

    I know the food is probably not the only trigger but from my experience the issue with my kids are not mood related but sensory related... tons o sensory defensiveness in my household. Has you son seen anyone in OT?

    Hopefuly someone will sign in with experience in this area.
    Janet, mom of 4

    TSFC Homepage


    "Intelligence is always increasing; accommodation allows your intelligence to do what it has always done." Cassie Green, Washington College

  7. #7

    Default Denise..

    he just like to be in control of every moment. even if he is given choices he will pick something completly different. his brother has some sensory problems but he doesnt. between the 3 of them we just about cover the entire spectrum of problems from sleep disorders, sensory problems, mood/depression, behavior difficulties, communication defficites, executive dysfunction, we got it all covered. That doesnt even cover my mood disorder, depression, un-treated ADHD, Fibromyalgia, and I have had shoulder surgery with the possibility of more. And my spouse wants to walk out cause he cant take the stress anymore, and who can blame him? I want to walk out some days too, but its not an opption. Sorry for venting I dont have any friends and my mother doesnt get it. I am very stressed right now, again I am sorry.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Ottawa, Canada
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    5,886

    Default Denise the Menice

    Sorry for venting I dont have any friends and my mother doesnt get it.
    No need to apologize here for venting. We are here to support one another and to help if we can.

    Acceptance and understanding from others who have had to overcome similar difficulties help in the healing process. Hearing about the experiences and strategies others have used can sometimes offer insights.

    It's obvious how you might feel overwhelmed by the combination of stressors in your life.

    I don't know if the following resource can be of interest or assistance:

    Fibromyalgia Support Forum

    Do you currently have access to any local support in the form of a health professional who can help you deal with your situation?

  9. #9

    Default Denise

    my biggest support is probably my GP and he cant help much as all these things are specialized areas. The kids phsychiatrist only comes up the firts friday of the month (as I live in a small town), and he hasent seen the Boys since the begining of Feb. when he perscribed Clonidadine to my oldest (zyprexa) and has'nt seen him since.we also have a developmental pediatrition but dont get to much help there either. How do I keep my family together? how do I save myself and my sanity? How does he save his? He does'nt know how to deal with stress...I am in volved with the adult mental health program in town and have recently been moved to a more hands on approach. I feel lost, scared, alone...

  10. #10

    Default Denise the Menice

    Hi ticsx3,

    There is a discussion on coping methods which might help.

    I would call your local hospital and discuss your situation with the mental health unit on pediatrics or call the adult mental health unit and ask about how to get more help for your family.

    You can save your sanity but at this point, a little help will go along ways.

    Did you call the Schizophrenia society in your area because you can go to their meetings with Tourette Syndrome and discuss your concerns. They are a strong organization and they will help you find resources in your community.

    Keep us posted because we want to help. Steph

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