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Thread: Yelling profanity at family with anger

  1. #1

    Default Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Hi all,

    I have a 13 year old son who is a sweet person. His challenge for the past 4 years has been copralalia. For the past two it has been extremely difficult because he yells out profanity with anger and meanness especially targeting his non-TS 11 year old brother. No matter how much we educate ourselves handling him and the rest of the kids during these "episodes", it is so difficult that I could take pages to explain. Anyone who triggers him or says anything negative to him does not escape his wrath.

    Any suggestions on how to deal with this? I am at my wits end at seeing my family suffer, its pure torture. The words hurt no matter how much I know they don't mean a thing.

    He is on Abilify for the past year and a half. He does not have any bothersome motor tics at all at this time. He had one where he would bite the inside of his gum until he was raw. That's when we had to medicate him.

    All he does all day is play online games to distract himself from yelling and cursing and causing fights. I feel helpless in seeing him gain weight. He has had to stop regular school completely since last December.

    Any suggestions, please help!

    - Seema



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
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    5,944

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Welcome to the TSFC Forum Seema,

    Based on your description, we have to presume your som has been diagnosed with Tourette by a physician who has sufficient clinical experience with the disorder to make a competent diagnosis.

    That being the case, was your son diagnosed with any co-morbid conditions such as OCD or ADHD?

    Coprolalia is not usually associated with anger and is expressed just like any other tic, spontaneously and under conditions not usually associated with anger or rage.

    Like people in the general population, people with Tourette tend to get anry and may use profanity in their rage, but the distinction must be made as to the cause of the profanity....Tourette or plain anger.

    We know that people with Tourette sometimes express rage reactions to situations that are very stressful or situations that require multi tasking..which seems to cause a temporary brain overload.

    Have you considered consulting a pediatric psychologist to determine the cause of your son's explosive behaviour? Is it possible it is not Tourettte related?

    Hope you find the Forum informative..looking forward to learning more about your situation.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Hi Seema,

    Welcome to the TSFC Forum.

    13 years old is a tough age with puberty started and he is probably sensitive about his weight gain.

    he yells out profanity with anger and meanness especially targeting his non-TS 11 year old brother.
    Steve is right that coprolalia is spontaneously, sudden, and not done in anger and usually the person with TS is apologetic. If his brother was not around him for a day does the coprolalia and meanness still happen?

    Let us know how we can help.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Hi Steve/Stephanie,

    Yes, he has been formally diagnosed. All his vocal tics for the past two years have been very loud, one was a trumpet like noise, so I have no reason to believe his profanity is not a tic, it is just so hard to deal with the meanness. Even when his brother is not around, he does have the loud f word tic, he says he has to yell it out otherwise it does not give relief.

    He had been diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7. He has not been diagnosed with OCD, but who knows?

    Has anyone tried this site for vitamin suppliments: www.bonniegr.com. I am trying them out right now, so is another parent that I have email contact with.

    Even when his brother was gone for 20 days in the summer his condition was not much better, I was his target as needed.

    So basically, anyone he gets angry with the profanity comes out with meanness and anger and every thing is loud.


    Any therapy that has worked for others? Any suggestions? This kid is basically giving up on everything.

    Take care all,

    Seema

  5. #5

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Hi Semma,

    I looked at the website with the vitamin supplements and the first thing I notice is that she is a medical technologist. So is my husband and he would not be able to tell you anything about nutrition becuase he is not given any training in it.

    Nutritional products mentioned in this website are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease
    Also, the maximum daily amount for a child is 15 capsules! This is an incredible amount to ingest for a child and I would be extremely careful before giving any of this to my child.

    Is your child taking this? How long and have you noticed any difference good or bad?

    Have you discussed this supplement with his doctor?


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Ontario
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    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Seema:

    Welcome to the TSFC forum and you raise some interesting questions.

    Both Steve & Stephanie are correct about the anger/rage you are describing.

    My son experiences coprolalia and he too is 13. He also has ADHD among other concerns. For this reason we went through a period of rage attacks or melt downs that are described in more detail in the parent section of the forum.

    What you are describing from my own experience is a combination of several factors that you should discuss with your physician.
    My son use to lash out at family members, particularly his older sister and yes words would fly and at first he really showed no remorse, only avoided contact to avoid the reactions displayed.

    My son had a lot of pinned up anger over having TS and other feelings about his size, lack of fitting in and centered himself around his games and computer. Self-esteem and lower tolerance to others can play a role.

    Once he had to take responsibility for his behavior and words life improved. My son redirects his copra by whispering now though at times words do still fly out of frustrations with his sister but he thinks twice before using those same words in anger toward family members.
    Hormones are raging at his age and so many concerns for a 13 year old weights on his mind that we as mom's just take for granted.
    You may want to consider anything in life as major in your situation as once I did I could better relate to my son and really see what was happening.

    I strongly suggest you discuss your concerns with your Doctor. Children do not always react the same way to medications too and he should be told of the behavior to confirm if there is any connection.

    Life is much better for us now since my son realizes that there is a difference between his copra and just being nasty to others and he has had to take a closer look at himself to better understand his feelings and learn how to express them without hurting others around him.

    I am sure you have heard the old saying you always hurt the ones you love. Well until his words hurt someone outside the home that was innocent it did not click. He still says his mouth works faster then his brain and sometimes he can not stop his words from coming out but at least he likes himself now and treats others around him better.

    Keep us posted on your findings and progress.
    PJK

  7. #7

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    Hi Stephanie,

    Yes I have talked to his doctor about the vitamins. The only thing she wanted me to make sure was he was not getting more than 100% daily value of vitamin A, since that can be toxic at higher levels. My 13 year old is 5' 10" and 200+ pounds, he is fine about taking 15-20 capsules, we divide it in 4 sets. Frankly I have not noticed any improvements as such. He still rages at the tiniest provocation and the rest is same too.

    I am taking him to another TS expert and will discuss medication effect and change with him soon. How does one get rid of the "pinned up anger" at being different from the rest of the family. How does he begin to accept it?

    Regarding the copralalia profused anger outbursts, he always says that the words just come out and did'nt think about it, he is sorry about it afterwards, but always blames his TS.

    Thanks for the inputs though,

    Seema

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Ontario
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    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger


    Seema:

    I got some assistance from counselors and we seeked some professional help for both of us so not to single him out.

    I also had a lot of heart to heart conversations with him. When a out burst happens toward a family member I learned how to constructively nip it quickly and separate them, then would go speak to my son in private. I also watched my daughters reactions and behavior and provided some guidance to stop the triggers. In time he understood he had to face his demons to stop lashing out at others and most importantly he was not alone in the process and I would be there to help him.

    It takes time but eventually I was able to turn the situation around so that my son would think about his behavior afterward and evaluate the causes, feelings wrapped up in the moment.

    Talking about the TS makes a world of difference. Sometimes he would not understand the tics when they would surface, this would cause anxiety and stress and then pure frustration. There is no anger with copra, only words no one wants to hear. When he understood what he was doing was hurting others and himself we were able to get to the bottom of the real issues.

    By learning how to redirect, he now replaces some words with others and as mentioned before whispers the words in public until he can leave the area to really vent but he does not lash out at family members anymore.

    All kids need to understand their place in the family unit and others in the family need to understand the limitations in people's personalities.
    When you are dealing with teenagers it is always a challenge to master that one.

    I am glad you are able to seek another opinion and I would suggest you keep a journal on your experiences until then to show and review to the Doctor.
    This topic is also on the forum. It helps to review the day and see patterns in behavior.

    We reduced refined sugar's and cut out caffeine to help with the aggression. It made a big difference. My son also has reactions to food colouring that triggers hyper aggressive behavior. When this happens it is hard for him to control and although his IQ is very high he is emotionally immature so the balance has to be found.

    PJK

  9. #9

    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger

    my son has copralalia ..... and he sometimes uses language when he is angry...I believe there is a difference during these two instances...one is his CHOICE of words to use when he expresses anger and one is INVOLUNTARY ...regardless of the "cause" of his language I have always told him that some tics are just not socially acceptable and must be modified (he also has copraxia)...he is making progress in this area ...for some time now he has developed complicated finger patterns to disquise when he is giving the finger and recently he has sometimes been able to redirect his copra and also his choice of words when he is angry into hummming the words or socially unacceptable phrases instead of saying the words...I have never really made a distinction with him or discussed with him whether or not it was involuntary...I simply said he HAD to modify it ....If I feel the instance is truly copra then I do not consequence him..I just remind him to modify...if I feel it is his choice in anger I do consequence him

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Ontario
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    Default Re: Yelling profanity at family with anger



    What you are describing is complex and it appears you handle it very well. In our case I have to remind my son when he is around younger children to watch his words when venting over the day. It just seems to come out naturally but he knows it is unacceptable. The re-direction has worked well for him when his copra raises its little head too.

    Either way he has had to learn to take responsibility for his actions and behavior and make an effort to respect others space as he would hope they would reciprocate when the time arises.

    The finger tip is a interesting topic and one I'd like some personal advice on. We have this moment too and sometimes the timing is just wrong. We are still working on it but it is nice to see others share the same concern.
    PJK

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