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Thread: Needing some support asap

  1. #1

    Default Needing some support asap

    To Whomever reads this thread I am in desperate need of help yet again. My previous posts were "Sinking Into Depression" which again I am spirialing. We have 2 weeks before we move to Port Coquitlam. We have no home to go to. I am at the top of BC Housing but nothing yet. As the last weeks approach my sons TS has reached an all time high. My respite worker is negative and cruel and is re-enforcing how we wont make it over there and how she pitties us being all alone. Ok no matter how strong I sound with her, I cry after every call. I am being bothered at my home again by under educated adults, I am suffering my migraines everyday, my son called my a "chansy B" and I dont even know what that means!! My friend who was going to move us has backed out. Gee what else. I swear someone up there has it out for me. Everytime I seem to get it together I get knocked down. Im tired. My chronic back pain is so bad I can hardly walk and yet I have to pack and do errands and pretend I am normal. Hold it together emotionally, let my sons harsh words roll off my back, and tell the world things are great. Well. Last time I lost it I turned to you guys and the emotional support I got helped me back on my feet and gave me strength to fight back. I am asking again for this help. The last week of school my sons bully broke his pinky finger. He had to have surgery and 2 pins put in. Guess what... nothing was done about it because it was an "accident". Well that means no biking, no swimming, no sports, nothing. Just me to keep him occupied and to fight all day long from morning to night about how he cant do these things for the summer. I try so hard not to snap back. I have tried to occupy him within my pain limits. Yes its unfair to him, yes its a shtty summer, yes im sorry. And then I get mad at myself and think...what about me?? Dont I count? This isnt exactly a wonderful summer for me either. And because I am so stressed, my body is giving up. I am tired all the time and could sleep for the next 10 years. I cant sleep, I am not eating right, I have lost my motivation. My son told me today that it was time to clean the toilet. I didnt know wether to laugh or cry. Yes its time to clean the toilet but i am the only one who does anything around here and i am flipin tired. I just feel like banging my head against the wall until it doesnt hurt anymore. I try to keep telling myself as soon as we get to Van we are going to Childrens Hospital. I just cant do this anymore. His words hurt more and more. He has no respect. Its like living with a deadbeat roomate. We dont eat together anymore, he takes off when he "needs a break" which is usually 3-5 times a day. The other day we got up and I gave him his pills and asked him what he would like for breakfast and he yelled at me and said he needed a break. Now I understand he cant stand change. I know we are moving to a new place. I know he is angry at his bully. But I need some suggestions on what I can do to stay sain. Oh and did I mention the 2 holes in his room and the swear words on the wall? What can I do before I loose it completely? Please help, any suggestions would be so appreciated at this moment.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Needing some support asap

    Guess I am replying to myself. I am so suicidal it isnt funny. No one wants to help in any form. I dont understand why my child and I have to suffer so much. Its just too much to take being alone. Thanks for everyones support it was really appreciated. And Dear Courtenay BC ... you suck.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    557

    Default Re: Needing some support asap

    Hi Kellay:

    I strongly recommend you talk to the National office. They may be able to give you a hand.

    The National office is 1-800-361-3120.
    Cathy
    Forum Moderator
    TSFC Homepage

  4. #4

    Default Re: Needing some support asap

    Hi Kellay!

    I remember your story from your last posting and understand how hard this is for you (and pretty much everyone who has this much on their plate). I am impressed with what you were able to accomplish last time. You can do it again. I know you can!

    I still stick by my previous advice which is you need to ask for help. We all do at times. It is not a sign of weakness and yes you will need to swallow your pride, but right now you need help. The best thing you can do for your son is keep good care of yourself. You need to be healthy in order to deal with the challenges your son's diagnosis brings.

    Cathy has given you a good suggestion to call the National office which is fully staffed.

    Also....I know the things your son is saying to you are hurtful. My son does the same especially when he is anxious. There are times when I am feeling so good about "us", especially after we have just shared a really nice activity together and he will turn around with no apparant trigger and be really cruel and mean. It always takes me by surprise and it always hurts! Upon reflection there has always been a trigger and in our case it is almost always anxiety induced.

    Things that you would not even realize produce anxiety, do in our kids. Even a simple thing like saying no to a chocolate bar can be very difficult for kids with high anxiety. For them it is more than not being able to have it just then, they worry that they will NEVER EVER be able to have one. Try to look for similar things that normally would not cause anxiety but do for your child. He is also likely very very anxious about the upcoming move so his symptoms will be worse until you are settled. Try to come up with a routine that can stay the same while you are going through this so that he can have something to count on every day. Maybe a special activity you do every day at the same time. Could be as simple as a quick card game. Try also to keep his bed times and meal times consistent. Allow him to make some choices about some things so that he can feel like there is some control about something. For example: would it be possible to discuss the week's food menu with him allowing him choices within limits you set? He could then create the menu and shopping list. Implementing some or all of these suggestions should help reduce his anxiety and hopefully improve behaviour.

    For you own peace of mind remember not to take your son's symptoms personally! He probably does not mean the things he is saying and deeply regrets it afterwards, even if he is not voicing that regret to you. I know my son ALWAYS regrets his impulsive words and thankfully is now at the point where he recognizes this and apologizes every time as soon as he has calmed enough to do so. Your son will get there to.

    Please keep in touch. Remember though that this forum is staffed by volunteers so we may not always be able to answer right away, but we do care and want to help. For myself I live part of the summer where there is no internet accesss so will only be able to check in periodically. I do promise you though that I will always check for your postings and will answer you when I can.
    Last edited by mom2TSguy; July 20, 2008 at 01:51 PM.

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