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Thread: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Default Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    For all of our Forum readers in a relationship with a significant other, this is an interesting article.
    The article does not suggest divorce is an answer to sleeping problems,
    but rather if sleeping in different rooms might assist with insomnia.
    This is balanced with an observation that “The psychological need for closeness and security, particularly at night, trumps the equally important need for good-quality sleep.”

    If you and/or your spouse is having problems sleeping, you might consider reading this article:

    Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?
    Little research has been done on sleeping couples, but sleep experts including Neil Stanley believe sleeping apart is a solution to sleep disorders.
    By: Leslie Scrivener Feature writer, The Star, Published on Fri Apr 05 2013

    If anyone dozes off during Neil Stanley’s talks, the sleep expert usually yanks them awake by declaring the unthinkable.

    We sleep better when we sleep alone.

    Research shows that couples who bed together have 50 per cent more disrupted sleep than those who slumber apart, the British sleep guru tells audiences around the world.

    What’s more, he and his wife slept in separate rooms and were none the worse for it.

    In other words: save your marriage with a sleep divorce.

    “The fact that I sleep separately came out by accident,” he says. “I was forbidden to mention this in interviews.

    “We have this huge belief that we should sleep together and any deviation is problematical or indicative that the relationship is threatened,” continues Stanley, who ran a sleep lab at the University of Surrey in the 1990s.

    There’s a lot that can go awry when two adults share a mattress. “We compromise about our sleep,” says Stanley, who is 47.

    To his point: two adults in a double bed have nine fewer inches per person than a child in single bed, he says. If your partner snores loudly, hogs the blankets or wakes you up with nocturnal needs, the result may be two miserable people. So why not take the practical course and sleep in another room? It’s not banishment.

    “It’s all nice to kiss and have a cuddle, but at some point you say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ and that means leave me alone,” he says. “Why not at that point go to another room and sleep because that’s what you want to do?”

    Many Canadians complain they don’t get enough quality time in bed, but it’s more than simple fatigue — sleep affects overall health and well-being. Reduced sleep is linked to a host of illnesses and conditions, including heart disease, stroke, obesity and, as a study showed last year, more aggressive breast cancer tumours.

    About 40 per cent of Canadians are troubled by sleep disorders, a 2011 study at Laval University showed, and 10 per cent of them use prescription drugs to treat the problem. A 12-year study of 14,000 Canadians, also at Laval, showed higher death rates — as much as 36 per cent — for those using sleep or anxiety medication. Tranquilizer and sleeping pill use has also been linked to increased vehicle accidents.

    There has never been so much study of and writing about sleep.

    To read more, click on this link to go to the article.
    Tina, Forum Moderator, TSFC Staff Liaison

    TSFC Homepage
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  2. #2

    Default Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    I often sleep on the couch. My husband snores or talks in his sleep. I have my best sleeps on my couch. It is amazing how people feel that sleeping apart effects your marriage. I know when my husband and I have had a good sleep we are a lot strong then on days we haven't slept

  3. #3
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    Lightbulb Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    Quote Originally Posted by WifeofTS
    My husband snores or talks in his sleep.
    Has your husband been seen by a sleep specialist where he would be evaluated in a sleep lab to address these issues?

    Sleep apnea can be managed with a CPAP machine or there may be other REM sleep disturbances that need to be addressed.

    There may be some strategies you and your husband can try rather than feeling obliged to sleep apart.

    Attached is an copy of an article titled "Understanding Sleep" published by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) you may find intertesting. The pdf document can be downloaded, viewed and/or printed

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    Actually, I sleep better with my partner most of the time. I think generally we have evolved as social creatures who feel safer and more comfortable with a companion close to us.

    Maybe it depends on your partner... mine does snore but it's a gentle very feminine snore. It's actually rather comforting, like a summer shower.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    That is hilarious! Your wife is very lucky to have!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    Quote Originally Posted by djbaxter
    mine does snore but it's a gentle very feminine snore. It's actually rather comforting, like a summer shower.
    David is just a hopeless romantic! Whatta guy!

  7. #7
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    Oct 2007
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    Paradise, NL
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    Default Re: Could sleep divorce be the answer to insomnia or restless slumber?

    Quote Originally Posted by djbaxter View Post
    Actually, I sleep better with my partner most of the time. I think generally we have evolved as social creatures who feel safer and more comfortable with a companion close to us.
    I find the same thing. My sleep sucks most of the time, but it tends to suck more when I'm by myself in the bed.

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